I own and run a CrossFit box. I say things to people on a daily basis that can challenge them to their very core. I have what some people may term as “unrealistic” expectations of every single member of my gym and even higher expectations of the people who coach here. I don’t mince my words and call it how I see it. I’m the kind of person you either love or love to hate. You either think I’m an arsehole or that I’m fricken awesome. There really isn’t any middle ground with me and while I’m definitely working on improving the way relate to different kinds of people – I’ll probably still be considered “a little rough around the edges” for years to come.
I recently decided to take a break from Facebook. I maintained the view that Facebook gave people with nothing worthwhile to say the perfect platform to do it. Haters absolutely love Facebook and I knew a couple of people actively engaged in talking shit behind my back. While everyone likes to put on a brave face – most people actually do care what people say about them. Call me a softie – I cared.
I’d see or hear from someone else what someone had written (about me) and I found myself becoming a bit of a hater too. The more I saw the more cynical I became and as much as I wanted to hit back with something spicy (damn, I had a thousand things) I kept remembering what my mum had always said when I was a kid “If you’ve got nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything!” So I shut my mouth, said nothing and tried to ignore it…
I tried to put on a brave face but the hating eventually took it’s toll and started to affect my mood and energy levels at home as well as my drive to write for the Adapt newsletter and my personal blog – I didn’t really feel like training, I had no energy to write anything and even less energy to deal with the joy of raising a teenage girl and domestic duties at home. I found myself snapping at Becca and the kids for things that normally wouldn’t have phased me. As is always the case, the people closest to you are usually the first to cop it.
Late last year I remembered catching up for a coffee with a mate who was going through a similar personal battle himself. He had felt so caught up in thinking about how to do and say the right things (for people that didn’t matter) that he found himself doing absolutely nothing at all. At the time I found it easy to diagnose my mate but more recently, much harder to look in the mirror and realise that I had been frozen into inaction myself.
Something had to be done and I chose to take a break from Facebook and unfollow certain people on Twitter as a way to limit my exposure to negative inputs. Apart from updating our FB business page I made a conscious decision not to check my personal news feed for a month (I apologise if you sent me a direct message during this time – it would have been the reason it took so long for me to get back to you) but the good news was that I don’t really feel like I missed out?!
I’m convinced that life’s about shared experiences with the people you love: your family, your friends and your gym peeps (well Adapt peeps anyway) and then sharing your story for the benefit of others (to educate and inspire) in a hope that they do the same for the people in their world.
My break from Facebook has been like a breath of the freshest air. It’s hard to describe just how much lighter I feel. I guess I’m now blissfully unaware of anyone saying anything negative (or positive) about me. I feel much happier at home with my wife and kids and it makes me truly appreciate every opportunity I get to catch up for a coffee or dinner with close friends. It’s also re-activated my will to write again and I now spend less time worrying about the haters.
Of course there’s a chance of me saying or writing something (in the near future) that may challenge and upset someone but I also think that there’s an equal chance I may inspire positive change in someone’s life, which may in turn benefit and inspire even more people.
–
Ben
0 comments